So I am officially a maid- old maid. But BUT it’s not like I planned on being one. My ideal marriage age was 23( what I said when I was 15) I thought I’d give myself enough time to LIVE (snort) But then reality set in, the weight crept on in 2 pound increments and I started getting older and realised I was running out of options.
See being more mixed than your average coloured means I don’t fit a particular stereotype, which makes the dwindling pool of available men, rapidly descend into almost extinction. Finding someone who is prepared to put up with my cultural differences, beliefs and practices and of course music choices and my mouth. Is very very frightening and almost highly unlikely.
So… yes I am lonely sometimes and other times I am fulfilled.
But ees very very difficult
Don’t you mean you’re either fulfilled or worried about family pressure?
Whatever you do, don’t give in to family pressure. They aren’t gonna live your life.
I turned 46 and a friend told me she had given up on me ever getting married and having kids.
The pressure is obviously very different for men than women as you will attest.
Still I think the single life is not all that bad but at times I too wonder what it would have been like …. ok I’m gonna stop wondering ;0)
Like Nafisa says, “live your life” my sista … only Allah knows what is for sure.
Peace and strugg;e,
Ridwan
I think you’re being a little hard on yourself! From the little contact we’ve had, it seems you have more than enough to offer any man. And I don’t go around dishing out compliments, so this comes from a place of sincerity.
Better to wait for the right guy to come along than to marry the wrong one. We shouldn’t care for men who are interested in culture, weight, age, or looks… Only one who can challenge you about as much as you can challenge him. Finding a smart and emotionally intact man is near impossible.
But yes, you are right. Being alone is far from ideal. We are designed to thrive with a companion. I live alone and while I enjoy my freedom, the bottom line is that it just sucks!
the thing about being alone…is you always have a smidgeon of hope to carry you through. even if you never admit it…it lies there, pulsating underneath everything.
but…..once you’re married- and perhaps…it was merely to conquer the timeline….or for some other reason that suddenly seems rather weak- that hope just fizzles out and dies. no need for it. you already know the future.
and it is so much harder to be alone as a married person, than being alone- wondering what tomorrow will hold.
dont give in because of fatigue.or worry that no one else will come along to appreciate you.dont….diminish yourself to accept something you dont have to.
*good luck*
Thanks Nafs you right but they try to meddle you know?
]
Ridwaan you’re never to old to get married my grandad married his 11th wife at 75 [A whole other blog) and she was half his age. you not even close yet
and Zuhayra Im not looking for perfection, Im waiting for my version of perfect!
Pserean thats possibly one of the most profound ways of looking at it. Thank you.
/finds you nice Pakistani boy.
Saqlain say hallo to Aasia.
Don’t stress I got the talk as well. My mom says I got to stop being full of shit. But its so hard to settle for something that you’re half happy with.
I think all people should try to find themselves first. If we rely on things and people to make us happy, we can always lose those.
Dont worry, good things come to those who wait
. Usually when we not looking and busy, things come our way.
Aassiiaaa my loveee! how are youuu
Anyway your lubley you are *sprinkles you with lovedust* dont worry about the pressure-when its meant to be..it shall be!